IT'S STILL RAINING.

I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A KID PLAYING IN THE RAIN, AT MY AUNT BECKY'S HOUSE.  I PLAYED IN THE FRONT YARD, WHICH IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, CONSISTED OF ME RUNNING AROUND AND JUST GETTING SOAKED.  ALSO, THAT WAS THE DAY I STEPPED ON A PIECE OF GLASS, EITHER IN THE DRIVEWAY OR THE SIDEWALK AND I BELIEVE THAT GLASS IS STILL IN MY HEEL.  I WAS YOUNG, AND MY MEMORY AIN'T WHAT IF USED TO BE.  THE RAIN, ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF THAT.  SO, SINCE I'M UP, AND NOT SLEEPING LIKE I SAID I WAS GOING TO DO, I SUPPOSE, THERE IS STUFF TO DO.  I COULD IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, JUMP BACK IN BED AND SLEEP, BUT THE THING ABOUT THAT IS, THAT I SLAMMED AN ENERGY DRINK AND NOW I'M UP UP.  SO, LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING....

THE DESTRUCTIVE NATURE IN HUMAN BEINGS, IS VERY REAL.  WE LIKE TO DESTROY.  WE LIKE TO DOMINATE.  WE LIKE TO CONQUER.  THIS MAKES ITSELF APPARENT IN MANY WAYS, IN SOCIETY AS A WHOLE.  COLLECTIVELY, WE HAVE THE TENDENCY TO BREAKDOWN THAT, WHICH WE HAVE BUILT UP OURSELVES, OR HAS BEEN BUILT UP FOR US.  IF YOU PAY ATTENTION, YOU CAN SEE IT EVERYWHERE.  I WOULD ASSUME, THAT THIS DRIVE FOR DESTRUCTION, IS BASIC AND ANIMALISTIC IN ALL OF US.  HOWEVER, WHAT I'VE NOTICED IN RECENT YEARS, IS A DRIVE INSIDE OF SOME, FOR SELF DESTRUCTION.  SOME PEOPLE, WANT TO BE DESTROYED, AND FOR THEM, IT IS A VERY REAL APPETITE.  THERE'S DIFFERENT TYPES OF SELF DESTRUCTION THO.  FOR INSTANCE, DRUGS AND ALCOHOL, ARE A SORT OF SELF DESTRUCTION, ALBEIT, A CONTROLLED SELF DESTRUCTION.  FOR SOME, THIS CAN BECOME FAR WORSE BY LOSING THE CONTROL, AND ATTEMPTING TO DESTROY ONESELF COMPLETELY.  FOR WHATEVER REASON, AND BY WHATEVER METHOD, PEOPLE WANT TO DESTROY THEMSELVES, AND THEY EITHER DO THIS OVER TIME OR IN A LARGE SWEEPING SYMPHONIC RUSH. 

FOR THOSE WHO CHOOSE A METHOD OF SELF DESTRUCTION, IT CAN RANGE FROM FIGHTING, TO RUNNING, TO ALCOHOL, TO MAKING BAD CHOICES, ETC.  NOW WITH SOME FORMS OF SELF DESTRUCTION, THERE ARE BENEFITS, THAT CAN OUTWEIGH THE DESTRUCTION ITSELF.  FOR INSTANCE, OUR BODIES AREN'T MEANT TO RUN LONG DISTANCES WITH OUT STOPPING.  IT IS HARMFUL ON THE JOINTS, AND PUSHES OUR HEARTS AND LUNGS TO FARTHER LIMITS.  HOWEVER, THAT IS ALSO GOOD.  BY DOING THAT, ONE CAN BUILD STRENGTH AND ENDURANCE, STRONGER HEART, LARGER LUNG CAPACITY, AND A HOST OF OTHER HEALTH BENEFITS.  OTHER FORMS, OF SELF DESTRUCTION, CAN HAVE BENEFITS IF KEPT UNDER CONTROL, LIKE SAY, DRUGS.  DRUGS, LIKE COCAINE, CAN ALLOW FOR A PERSON TO STAY AWAKE FOR A LONGER PORTION OF TIME AND MAKE THE MIND SHARPER (THINK CAFFEINE, ONLY BETTER).  HOWEVER, TOO MUCH, CAN MESS WITH YOUR HEALTH, AND IN ALL LIKELIHOOD KILL YOU.  SO THE QUESTION BECOMES, WHAT ARE PEOPLE REALLY LOOKING TO ACCOMPLISH WHEN THEY SET OUT TO DESTROY THEMSELVES?  THAT ACTUALLY DEPENDS ON THE STATE OF MIND OF THE PERSON PRIOR TO ANY CONSIDERATION OF SELF DESTRUCTION.  WE KNOW THIS AND HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS.  WE HAVE HAD A REALLY HARD DAY, AND NOW WANT TO GET PROPERLY FUCKED UP, AT SOME BAR.  WE ALL KNOW THE EFFECTS, AND WE ALL KNOW RESULTS, BUT, THAT WILLINGNESS TO SUFFER IS THERE AND IT'S STRONG.

THERE ARE SOME, THAT ARE INSISTENT ON DESTROYING THEMSELVES, WITH BAD DECISIONS.  THIS IS PROBABLY THE HARDEST TO WATCH.  WE HAVE ALL SEEN THIS, IN SOMEONE WE KNOW, WHETHER IT BE A CO-WORKER, FRIEND, OR FAMILY MEMBER.  IT IS INTERESTING BECAUSE SOMETIMES THIS SELF DESTRUCTION IS NOT SEEN AS, SELF INFLICTED.  SOMETIMES, PEOPLE WILL ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE PUT IN PRECARIOUS POSITIONS, SIMPLY TO GET CAUGHT, CHASTISED, DISCIPLINED, OR HURT.  IT IS A FORM OF SELF DESTRUCTION, BUT, NOT BY THEIR OWN HAND.  THIS IS SEEN, BY MANY, AS A COWARD'S WAY OUT.  THE REASON IS, WITH SOME SELF DESTRUCTION, YOU CAN EASILY IDENTIFY THE ISSUE AND WHERE IT STEMS FROM.  EVEN WATCHING THEM, YOU UNDERSTAND IT AND REALIZE AT SOME POINT, THIS IS A SELF INFLICTED PROCESS AND "THEY" HAVE TO BREAK OUT OF IT.  HOWEVER, WITH THIS INDIRECT SELF DESTRUCTION, THESE PEOPLE ARE INFLICTING DAMAGE TO THEMSELVES, EMOTIONALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, SOCIALLY, OR PHYSICALLY, BUT NOT CLAIMING THE RESPONSIBILITY.  THAT IS CRUCIAL.  SMOKER'S DEVELOP ALL KINDS OF ISSUES, BUT THEY TAKE THE WEIGHT OF THAT CHOICE, KNOWING IT'S THE CIGARETTE.

IF YOU MAKE HORRIBLE CHOICES, BUT, DON'T CLAIM THE RESPONSIBILITY OR DON'T HAVE THE WHEREWITHAL TO LEARN FROM THAT DECISION, THEN YOU DESERVE THE BRUNT OF THAT CHOICE.  HOWEVER, WHEN YOU DENY RESPONSIBILITY AND FURTHERMORE ATTEMPT TO BLAME SOMEONE ELSE, FOR YOUR PREDICAMENT, THEN, YOU BECOME DESPISED.  IF I HIT YOU, FLAT OUT, FOR NO REASON, THEN THAT MAKES ME AN ASSHOLE.  HOWEVER IF YOU COME UP TO ME, TALK SHIT AND TAKE A SWING, AND I HIT YOU?  THAT'S YOUR FAULT, AND YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF.  THE PROBLEM WITH SELF DESTRUCTION THO, IS IT CAN BE ADDICTING.  PART OF THE EXCITING NATURE OF SELF DESTRUCTION IS THE IDEA OF SURVIVAL.  YOU TESTED YOUR LIMITS AND SURVIVED.  SOME PEOPLE WILL PUSH THESE LIMITS, UNTIL THEY EXPIRE, WITH THE FULL ON INTENTION OF COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF THEMSELVES.  THIS IS SOMEHOW RESPECTED, IN SOCIETY.  HOWEVER, THE NON-SELF INFLICTED, SELF DESTRUCTION IS NOT REGARDED IN ANY CIRCLE, AS EVEN REMOTELY HONORABLE.  IT IS SEEN AS GIVING UP, OR QUITTING.  TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE RESPONSIBLE, FOR YOUR DOWNFALL, IS COWARDLY BECAUSE, YOU TAKE ON THE ROLE OF VICTIM WHEN YOU ARE NOT.  AND IF IT'S ONE THING PEOPLE HATE, IT IS, WHEN PEOPLE MAKE THEMSELVES OUT TO BE A VICTIM, WHEN THEY ARE NOT.  PEOPLE, WILL DESTROY THEMSELVES OVER TIME.  PEOPLE WILL DESTROY OTHER PEOPLE, OVER TIME.  IT'S IN OUR NATURE.  PEOPLE WILL BE DESTROYED BY THEIR OWN HUMANITY.  BUT BEING A VICTIM, AND PLAYING THE VICTIM ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS.   -  925