DO YOU.

Growing up, I could always draw. I don't know where it came from. My parents always said it was god-given, but, it's always been there. As I grew and my talent grew, from being self taught mostly, my dad and other people noticed my ability. This led to a whole mess of people, in addition to my father, always asking me to draw something for them. I was never usually paid, and rarely did I receive much other, than a small thank you and a pat on the back. I also, had a low self-esteem, stemming from being chubby and quiet. So, naturally, I had the tendency to want attention and one of the few ways that this became possible, was by drawing things for other people. Mostly, I ended up drawing for my dad, and girls. This wore very thin, very fast. Eventually, it got to the point, that I had a hard time telling people "no". It led to me going to Graphic Design school and absolutely hating it, and then dropping out.

Now, even tho it has been very hard to get over, I say "no" more often than I used to. Sometimes, I feel bad when I say no, because there's a part of me that still wants that approval. I still say no tho. From this, I have learned that this applies to all things, in life. Saying no, isn't bad, and it doesn't make you an asshole. It simply means, that you don't, for any reason, want to take part in what someone is "asking" you to do. I have managed to become happier, because of this philosophy, and only take on things that truly inspire me or motivate me. As an artist, and other artists will tell you, everyone has an idea on what you should do or they ask you to be apart of their idea. This is where you have to decide, is this your life, or theirs. Who do you work for, and who do you wanna work for? Yourself? Someone else?

It reminds me of the part in 8 Mile, when Jimmy finally confronts Free World at the rap battle and wins. His buddy Future, says he wants him to join him, and Jimmy says he wants to do his own thing. Do the things you want to do and you'll never be unhappy, and you will always find peace. - IF