INSECURITY

Insecurity is a mutha fucka. Insecurity led me to marrying the wrong woman. It also led me to making the wrong choices, in my life. Which, can be hell on a young insecure soul. There are those who appear secure and confident, but, if you pay close attention, their security, is based on so much that their insecurity is quite evident. The confidence and security that we invest in, has nothing to do with any other person, or any material item. Nothing has to be perfect, in order for that comfort or peace, we all search for. If you can't find that, absolute peace, which stems from security, you face a storm in your own mind that will wither away the idea of what happiness is. People often believe, a good job, a decent house, decent car, and a spouse, is security, but, it isn't. These are things, and if you make this the foundation in which you build your confidence, or your security, then when those things are gone....you will fall apart.

Insecurity is a sly devil, because it creeps in slowly causing a person to question and then act, based on false belief. Security, should be found in oneself and in ones abilities. I wish, I had someone to explain this to me, when I was young. I've come long way in my life, but, if I had learned earlier then I'd be in a different place. I can't be completely upset, because, in finding my way, I have found my happiness, confidence, and security. How? You may ask. I learned, that, I am a vessel, and as a vessel, I must be aware of what I'm made of, and what I can accept within me. That which is allowed to be poured into me, whether by me or others, is what will be poured out, and if done consecutively, will become a labeled vessel of poison. Also, I must learn what I am constructed of, how much I can handle, whether I need reinforcement in certain areas, and if what I accept makes me heavy or light. These are essential lessons to learn. If my vessel is full of water, why would I introduce poison? The hardest thing to learn, is that if your vessel gets cluttered, then....all you have to do is...pour it the fuck out. It's simple. Sometimes, post pour, you have to really get in deep, and clean the shit out.

Most people believe, if they place their vessel on a shelf away from everything, if they paint it and decorate it, or show it off and talk about it, that this builds security. Life is an endless lesson, and the primary thing that you have to get out in front on, is the idea that you must know yourself. Your faults, tendencies, gifts, strengths, history, etc., all play a big part in who you are. You have to accept all of it, don't hide from it, or lock it away. Just accept all of it, good or bad, and make adjustments accordingly. This is how you diminish insecurity. By diminishing, the lies we tell ourselves, by accepting responsibility for our own faults, by not hiding from the truth of who we are and what we've done; we are becoming a person of strength and foundation to build on. Insecurity requires some good shoes, because, you'll be running, not from anyone else, but, from yourself....and you'll be doing all you can to cover that up with whatever you can, to make you feel secure.