ARE YOU ON?

Are you on? For those who don't understand, let me explain. I spent 4 months in California, specifically, Santa Monica. At one point in my life, I had no idea what to do with myself, so I decided to venture out to California. The whole point of moving out that way, was to start fresh, and possibly make a name for myself. Armed with mediocre talent, and a job waiting for me; I decided to take the leap of faith. One of the first things I knew, was not to trust a fucking soul out there. I had no interest in getting swallowed up and spit out, by the Hollywood machine. As I stayed out there, I got the feeling that a lot of people were trying to get over on me in some way. I wasn't naive by any means, and I wasn't star struck either. I was dream chasing, but, not so much to the point that I was willing to listen to someone's bullshit. Maybe I was just paranoid. I also got the feeling, that, people were always trying to be noticed. Therefore, they had to always be ready, and everyone had extra shit they were doing to get on, so to speak. People were trying to look and act a certain way, to fit into a certain category, and find some sort of success. Kinda like when a model, who is looking for a niche, and settles on a genre that has the largest fan base for them. I'm not knocking models, they have to be versatile and diverse enough to reach a broader base and make money.

So this idea of being on, is pretty detectable, because it's not genuine. It's sort of rooted in the popular mindset, of whatever category, they're attempting to fit into. Being on, is not like being ready. Being ready is different. Being ready, is knowing what you are capable of and what you have to offer, and just merely waiting for the right opportunity. Being on, is sort of like fishing. Fishing within someone's personality, friends, and connections, to see if it can benefit you in some way....all while maintaining that front. That's the thing tho, if I could equate being on, to anything, it would be a lot like fronting. It's an appearance. Like a groupie acts, around musicians, or rappers. I find this kind of behavior, pretty easy to spot, and it is not something I like to be around. For instance, people find out I can draw, and their eyes light up WITH ideas of what I can do for them. Like saying they'll pay me, makes it any better. It doesn't.

Its the feeling of speaking to someone who's not being genuine, that's the hardest to deal with. However, when its on a frequent basis, you can feel isolated and alone. Look, I am all for people chasing their dreams and being ready when the opportunity presents itself, but, the always on mentality is something that is not necessary. Being, in the know, in the now, in style, ready to entertain, and all about you, has got to be some draining shit. Just be yourself, and, don't be the vulture type that is always on. Figure out a way to get there, and pay your dues. You don't always have to bargain and maneuver your way up the chain, at least, not at the beginning. Once you get to a certain level of business, I'm sure you'll have to, but as for now, you can just be you and be ready. I've known plenty of people who want to work together, or collaborate, or co-create, but, it's usually because they're seeing where it can benefit them in some way. I'm always hesitant of that, because, I've had plenty of people say that, only to never take it any further. That's not bitterness by the way, that's just experiences. People who are on, are fleeting and a lot of times, full of talk.  THIS IS NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO WORK WITH, BUT, BECAUSE THEY ARE LOOKING FOR BETTER OPPORTUNITIES, OR THEY FOUND SOMEONE WHO'S WILLING TO KISS THEIR ASS A LITTLE MORE.  It's something, I've learned to stray far away from and I hope you do the same, because, it's growing.....daily.