YOU'RE JUST A HATER!!!

So, sometimes you, as well as everyone else, will face some sort of criticism or verbal attack, at some point. It is something that is inescapable. People will always have an opinion on you as a person, although, not everyone will actually tell you their opinion. These opinions usually range from constructive criticisms to downright character assassinations. This will also occur, indirectly, via social media, or very rarely, in person. There is a whole host of reasons, why people feel the necessity to critique another person. Some reasons are valid, but most, stem from the critics own state of mind. Now, I say this to make a point, and not to feed the idea, that you have "haters". Some criticisms are very valid, if someone says you're an asshole, and that sentiment is echoed by several other people, then it might be true. It does not mean they are "haters", it does not mean you are an "alpha", it does not mean you accept it and embrace it either. It simply means, you might be an asshole.

What happens when we are criticized, is that it is met with an inner dialogue that is our ego. Our egos, are unable to accept criticisms most times, because the ego does not embrace humility. Humility is a rejection of the ego on a regular basis. So, when someone approaches us on a level, about our behavior or actions, we revert to our ego, as a means of self defense. We see this criticism, as an attack, and feel the need to defend ourselves which usually results in anger and confrontation. However, do we really examine what's being said, and who is saying it? Our current society has us dismissing and confronting, our detractors, because we have become so self important, that we do not see any wrong in what we do. We justify our actions, with excuses, because we don't have the ability to control our egos. Things like, "if you can't handle me at my worst", "haters", and "I keep it 100", are excuses that allow us to continue being the same egotistic megalomaniacal human beings incapable of being relatable. Arrogance is a virus, that spreads, which is why you have to purify yourself on a daily basis, and check yourself.

How does one check themselves? Well, for starters, listen to the criticism, but, with intelligent nonbiased ears. Is the criticism valid? Are you, in fact, an asshole? This is now the seventh person to say this, and this time its a close friend, or family member. Sometimes, we refuse to recognize the criticism as valid because we would have to change, and that's hard. Consider the source, as well. Are these people who don't know you very well, that are calling you an asshole, and don't know you're sarcastic? Even then, you might be coming off as an asshole, and being somewhat disrespectful, because you don't approach new people with a certain type of demeanor that helps determine if that person can handle your type of personality or not. For instance, if I walk into a black tie event, and yell out, "I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes tonight!", everyone is gonna assume I'm an asshole. It's kind of unfair for me to get defensive, when my initial actions, made them defensive in the first place. Your ego causes you to make excuses for what you do, and exhibit disdain for those who question it. It doesn't care, who may have issue with you, because why? It is selfish. So first, you must consider the source. If they are people who are meeting for the first time, this might be the impression you give off. If these are people close to you, you might wanna pay attention, because they know you well. If these are people on social media, you don't know and will never likely meet, then it really doesn't matter, although, if you examine the criticism, they might have very valid points that would do you well to incorporate.

Which leads me to this point, examine the criticism and determine if its applicable. Your whole world doesn't have to rest on the words of someone else, but, they might be saying some things you need to hear. You take the time to be humble, the criticism might be valid. I had an art teacher, by the name of Mr. Pashley. He was English, and he always wreaked of alcohol, and he was very critical of people's artwork. In the first class, he said, "if you can't take criticism, you won't do well in my class, and you might want to switch classes. I'm here to make you better, and I don't have time to worry about your feelings". He was, very critical. Several people left the class, because of his criticism, but, I'll be damned if he didn't make me a better artist. I did some of my best work in his class. He knew his shit, and his straightforwardness was too harsh for people's egos, who thought they were good to begin with. Sure, he could have learned to deal with people better, and I'm sure he had to face that critique on his own. He had valid information, and valid points, and his criticism is what made me better. I didn't fall in line and become just like him. I maintained, my own style, but, listened to what he said and applied it. So, sometimes, the criticism is valid, and sometimes it isn't, and you have to be wise and humble enough to discern the difference. Look at who it's coming from, and why they're saying it. Having that ego check, is good for you. Whether you are doing it to yourself, or someone is doing it to you, there is so much benefit, if you take the time to listen sometimes.

Not everyone is a hater, not everyone is attempting to destroy you. You also have to look at yourself in very real terms as well. You work a 40/hr weekly job, kids, wife....really, who hates you? Or you're divorced, kid, apartment, baby mama drama, no car, dead end job....really? Who is hating on you? Put things into perspective, and utilize the criticisms that make you better. If you are so egotistical, that you see enemies everywhere you go, then, you deserve the inner turmoil you face. You are your own worst enemy.    -  925