IT'S NOT "THAT" COMPLICATED.

SO, PEOPLE ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HOW COMPLICATED ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS ARE, BUT IN ALL REALITY, IT'S REALLY NOT.  IT CAN BE A SLIGHT STRUGGLE, GIVEN TODAY'S DAY AND AGE, REQUIRES US TO WORK MORE, BUT, ASIDE FROM THAT, NOT TOO MUCH.  THE COMPLICATION THAT MOST PEOPLE ENCOUNTER, BEGINS BEFORE A RELATIONSHIP IS EVEN SOUGHT OUT.  REMEMBER, WHEN THERE WAS THE OLD SAYING PRIOR TO A BREAKUP, "IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME"?  WELL, IT IS YOU, ALL OF YOU.  WE ARE BORN, FOR THE MOST PART, PERFECT.  THEN, AS WE GROW OLDER, OUR EXPERIENCES SHAPE US.  THIS MAKES US CONFIDENT IN SOME AREAS, AND EMPTY IN OTHERS.  COUPLE THAT, WITH EITHER A SLIGHT EGO, OR A SLIGHT LOW SELF-ESTEEM, AND YOU FIND A RECIPE FOR DISASTER.  THIS IS USUALLY WHY MANY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL. 

IF YOU ARE INCOMPLETE, AS A PERSON, YOU TEND TO LOOK FOR THAT IN OTHERS.  IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP, THIS CREATES HAPPINESS AND A SENSE OF COMPLETENESS.  HOWEVER, THE OTHER HALF OF THIS RELATIONSHIP, IS ALSO DOING THE SAME THING.  YOU ARE NOW, IN A CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP, AND THE FUTURE OF THAT RELATIONSHIP RELIES HEAVILY ON WHETHER OR NOT, BOTH PARTIES CONTINUE TO PROVIDE WHAT IS LACKING IN THE OTHER PERSON.  SOMETIMES, THIS CAN WORK BECAUSE PEOPLE LEARN TO COPE WITH IT, BUT, IT IS VERY DIFFICULT.  ONCE, THAT OTHER PERSON BEGINS TO FAIL AT PROVIDING WHAT YOU LACK INTERNALLY, YOU BEGIN TO RESENT AND EVENTUALLY HATE THAT PERSON.  THIS RESULTS IN A BREAKDOWN IN COMMUNICATION AND ULTIMATELY A BREAK OFF OF SAID RELATIONSHIP.  IT'S NOT UNUSUAL TO WANT TO BE FREE, FROM UNHAPPINESS, ESPECIALLY A RELATIONSHIP FILLED WITH IT.  AT OUR CORE, AS HUMANS, WE WANT HAPPINESS.  WE WANT THE STORYBOOK.  WE WANT PERFECTION.  WE WANT TO BE SWEPT AWAY.

THE MAIN PROBLEM, IS THAT WE ARE FIRSTLY, INCOMPLETE.  AS I STATED BEFORE, WE ARE INCOMPLETE, AND SOMETIMES BROKEN, GIVEN WHAT HAPPENS THROUGHOUT OUR LIFETIME, AND WE CARRY THOSE EXPERIENCES AS A REFERENCE POINT, SO THAT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.  HOWEVER, WE ARE CREATURES OF HABIT, AND IT USUALLY DOES HAPPEN FREQUENTLY.  WHY IS THIS?  THE REASON IS, BECAUSE WHAT YOU SEEK IN ANOTHER PERSON IS EITHER SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE LACKING INTERNALLY, OR SOMETHING YOU DESIRE IN ANOTHER PERSON.  HOWEVER, IF YOU'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR THE ANSWER IN SOMEONE ELSE, AREN'T YOU SIMPLY DOOMED TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES OVER AND OVER?  WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING, IS ATTEMPTING TO BE A MORE COMPLETE PERSON, FIRST.  WHAT BETTER WAY TO LIVE PERIOD, THAN TO UNDERSTAND ONESELF FULLY, FIRST?  MAYBE, YOU SHOULD TAKE THE TIME TO FIND A WAY TO FILL WHAT IS LACKING WITHIN, SO THAT YOU DON'T SEARCH FOR IT IN SOMEONE ELSE, AND FALL TO PIECES WHEN IT STOPS BEING GIVEN TO YOU.

WE ARE SELFISH BY NATURE, WE NEED TO SURVIVE.  THIS IS THE BASIC ANIMALISTIC BEHAVIOR WITHIN.  HOWEVER, WE ARE MORE THAN JUST BASIC ANIMALS, WE ARE EVOLVED MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY, TO DESIRE AND REQUIRE MORE.  SO, THE FIRST STEP TO OVERCOMING DEPENDENCE IN OTHER PEOPLE, IS TO STOP LOOKING FOR IT IN OTHERS.  BE ALONE.  TAKE SOME ME TIME, AND TURN THE SEARCH INSIDE.  SECOND, ACCEPT AND IMPROVE.  I WAS INITIALLY GOING TO SAY CHANGE, BUT, IMPROVE IS BETTER, BECAUSE WE SHOULD ALWAYS SEEK OUT PROGRESS.  TAKE AN INVENTORY OF WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE.  ACCEPT THOSE THINGS YOU CANNOT CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF.  ACCEPT YOUR MISTAKES.  ACCEPT WHERE YOU ARE IN LIFE.  ACCEPT THE FACT THAT ONE DAY, YOU WILL DIE, AND THAT THIS LIFE IS TEMPORARY.  ACCEPT THAT YOUR HAPPINESS DOESN'T COME FROM THE OUTSIDE, BUT FROM, WITHIN.  ACCEPT, THAT EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE, IS GOING THRU A STRUGGLE.  ONCE YOU HAVE ACCEPTED ALL OF THIS, THEN, YOU CAN FIND WAYS TO IMPROVE, IF NEED BE.  FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT, LOSE WEIGHT.  IF YOU'RE USUALLY AN OFF-PUTTING PERSON, LEARN TO BE MORE SOCIABLE.  AS LONG AS, YOU ARE DOING IT FOR YOURSELF, AS AN IMPROVEMENT, AND NOT TO GAIN THE SPECIFIC ATTENTION OF ANYONE, THEN YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT.  YOU SHOULD NEVER SEEK OUT IMPROVEMENT, AS A MEANS OF GARNERING ATTENTION.  YOU ARE ESSENTIALLY, PUTTING YOURSELF, BACK INTO A CO-DEPENDENT STATE.

FIND HAPPINESS, WITHIN.  ALONE, AND BY YOUR OWN EFFORTS.  THIS NOT ONLY BUILDS HAPPINESS, BUT, CONFIDENCE AS WELL.  ALL OF THIS, BRINGS ABOUT A HEALTHY SENSE OF SELF-WORTH, AND ONCE YOU BEGIN TO SEE YOURSELF AS VALUABLE, YOU WON'T LOOK FOR YOUR VALUE IN OTHERS.  YOU ALSO, WON'T TOLERATE THE SAME THINGS THAT MADE YOU UNHAPPY BEFORE.  WHY?  BECAUSE IT DISTURBS YOUR HAPPINESS WITHIN.  ANYONE, YOU BRING INTO YOUR LIFE, ESPECIALLY IN A ROMANTIC SENSE, SHOULD ADD TO YOUR LIFE, YOUR HAPPINESS, NOT DETRACT.  WE ARE NOT LEECHES, THEREFORE, YOU SHOULDN'T LATCH ONTO OTHERS, OR LET, OTHERS LATCH ONTO YOU FOR THE SAKE OF HAPPINESS.  IT IS NEITHER'S RESPONSIBILITY.  THEREFORE, LOOK FOR THOSE WHO MAKE YOU "HAPPIER".  IF YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO BE HAPPY ALONE, AND YOU HAVE DISCOVERED THAT WITHIN, THEN ANYONE YOU BRING INTO YOUR HAPPINESS, SHOULD MAGNIFY THAT.  IF THEY DON'T, THEN THEY ARE NOT RIGHT FOR YOU, AND THEY SHOULD GO.

INDEPENDENCE, SHOULDN'T BE DISCOVERED OUT OF SPITE, BUT, SHOULD BE APART OF EVERYDAY LIFE.  WHEN TWO INDIVIDUALS FIND EACH OTHER, THEY ALLOW THEMSELVES TO PARTICIPATE IN THE OTHER'S HAPPINESS.  THIS IS NO LONGER A CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP, IT IS A BOND AND CAN BRING STRENGTH TO BOTH INDIVIDUALS, BECAUSE YOU ARE MIRRORING HAPPINESS TOWARD EACH OTHER.  ULTIMATELY, YOU BLEND INTO ONE COIN WITH TWO SIDES.  CHANGE.  (AHHHH, SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)   -  925